So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag