You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i jhust puked up my retainher.
People in love make me want to vomit
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
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