help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
what if I'm pregnant?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.