i permit you to call me
I just cut my nipple shaving
I think I am morally bankrupt
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE