The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
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Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy