There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
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Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
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I need a burrito and a hug.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.