We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
