11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
