How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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