his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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