Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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