I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
