this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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