True but thats because hes a fetus.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It's never too late to be topless.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
