In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
