i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?