Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.

(1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.

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(717):Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine. (1-717):That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with. http://tfl.nu/pv3h

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(859): View more from Kentucky

The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.

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(859): The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know. http://tfl.nu/3jb2

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?

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(920): Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job? http://tfl.nu/emh8

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?

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(973): Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet? http://tfl.nu/ol6s

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(207): View more from Maine

I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling

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(207): I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling http://tfl.nu/w1qs

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.

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(603): I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife. http://tfl.nu/98pl

Replies (11) Good night (1074) Bad night (2411) Order T-Shirt
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(707): View more from California

You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?

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(707): You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis? http://tfl.nu/earc

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave

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(608): not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave http://tfl.nu/ay74

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(256): View more from Alabama

Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.

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(256): Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again. http://tfl.nu/e17o

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(314): View more from Missouri

he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.

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(314): he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it. http://tfl.nu/ukah

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(319): View more from Iowa

I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?

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(319): I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg? http://tfl.nu/atqw

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(619): View more from California

No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist

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(619): No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist http://tfl.nu/96uk

Replies (7) Good night (1102) Bad night (307)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.

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(337): Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment. http://tfl.nu/4czr

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(+47): View more from Norway

You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me

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(+47): You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me http://tfl.nu/d4vv

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(419): View more from Ohio

I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day

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(419): I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day http://tfl.nu/2i69

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