she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
