I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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