It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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