Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
