Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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