brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
