Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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