I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
