I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
