Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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