I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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