I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
