man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize