I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize