Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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