butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
