I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
