I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
