Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
