Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I think a kid would responsible me up
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
