Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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