I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
