Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
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