God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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