would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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