Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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