well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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