i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
