Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(520): View more from Arizona

I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.

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(240): View more from Maryland

We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game

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(503): View more from Oregon

I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown

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(303): View more from Colorado

The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you

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(572): View more from

party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time

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(561): View more from Florida

After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.

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