Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
