feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
