dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
