He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
