We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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