my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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