There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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