Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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