Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize