i wish my penis had a tongue
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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