just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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