My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
