Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
