So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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