The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
