So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
